I think it is safe to say that this year has been nothing like what we had hoped for and expected 2020 to be like. As a husband, father, and business owner, not much has gone according to plan, and I have had to learn to let go of expectations. Most of our country and our world are in survival mode, taking things day by day until our current situation passes, and we can get back to business as usual.
I am not usually one to let the grass grow under my feet. I maintain an awareness of my current situation, and if I feel stuck, I pivot. I have never had an issue finding a new direction, it just comes to me. I have enough interests and areas that I keep an eye on that finding the next thing is easy, but this time is different.
I am forty years old now and desire more than financial security from my work. I want to do work that matters. It needs to matter to me, and it should matter to others as well. I’m not saying that what I am doing now doesn’t matter, but it just isn’t fulfilling me right now, and I can’t identify why.
Considering all that is happening right now in the world, I feel guilty about having these feelings. I should be content with the fact that people are still paying me for my work. None of us asked for the challenges our world is facing. However, I purposely positioned myself professionally to mitigate risk, so while I do sympathize with others going through tough times, I can’t really empathize with them. I could have taken many different directions in life, but once I started building a family, I wanted to make sure I could provide for them even in the most unsure of times.
All of us want to do things that matter. We want to be appreciated for our work while at the same time feeling great about what we do. Whether I am building a website, taking pictures, filming a video, or making YouTube videos, I am being appreciated for my work. I have spent a lot of time digging into that to figure out what I am missing. I wanted to make sure that I did not merely desire praise. Our mind can mislead us, so I often take Darth Vader’s advice and “search my feelings.”
Perhaps you are like me, you are not looking for outside affirmation, but you still feel like something is lacking. That is where I am at this point. I enjoy my work, the flexibility I have within it, and the freedom it provides me, but am I fulfilled? Is this work my legacy? These are the answers I am searching for right now.
I don’t expect the answer to simply land in my lap. Life is a journey, and I wouldn’t want it to be entirely predictable. If it was, I wouldn’t need faith in anything, and I believe that our world needs faith in something bigger than our past, our current circumstances, and whatever the future holds for us.
It is easy to blame circumstances for this feeling of being stuck. If we leave that unchecked for too long, we will place blame on others and start to build resentment towards them. When we do this, we are not taking responsibility for our lives, and beyond that, it’s not fair to those we are blaming for the choices we made.
If you are feeling stuck, know that in this moment, I am too. It is temporary, and we will get out of it. Spend this time to search within to determine what is causing it. Take ownership of it and develop a plan to get out of it, one step at a time. Here are a few questions I ask myself when I am feeling stuck to help with me discover the cause.
- What exactly am I feeling right now?
- Did anyone besides me contribute to these feelings?
- How did I contribute to these feelings?
- What can I do right now to move forward?
- What needs to change to continue moving forward?
- Am I placing blame on someone else rather than taking ownership?
- Do the people closest to me know my desires?
- How can I better communicate with those close to me what my desires are?
- What are my next steps?
I hope that you find a way to get unstuck. It can be very challenging, but I know that we have it in us. The world is stuck right now, and it can’t afford to have all of us be stuck.
If I can be an encouragement in any way, share with me in the comment section below or reach out to me through social media.