Since having children, I have found that I am a much more emotional person. Prior to being a parent, I can’t remember the last time I cried or got very emotional about anything besides my wedding day (happiest day of my life btw). When stuff happens to your kids, it is a different kind of pain. The world puts a lot of hurt on each of us but when something is hard on your child, it is a different kind of pain that is hard to describe to people. If you have kids, hopefully you understand what I mean.
When my son Liam broke his leg at around 20 months old, 2 weeks before my wife gave birth to our second child, my whole world stopped. After his femur failed to set, all I could think about was that my little guy might not be able to walk normal and I assumed running would be something he could achieve after much therapy. Thankfully everything went well and though he had to learn how to walk again after the cast, he shows very little signs of ever having any issues. He outruns kids that are older than him. Nothing holds him back.
There were moments when I thought to myself, what if he lost his leg? What if it heals back wrong and he can’t run. There are many things you allow yourself to think and worry about. I am sure most of my issues with acid reflux come from the stress I allowed to affect me during that time.
When my son came out of surgery in a hip spica cast and I died a little inside because I felt that I had failed to protect my son. It’s hard to find hope during a time that I let fear of the unknown get the best of me. I bottled it up so that nobody else would see how afraid I was, but I had never been more scared in my life.
Thankfully my son was healed and does not seem to show any signs of issues from the break. It’s one of those things you just have to hand to God and trust that everything will go well. You ask as many questions as you can to the Doctors and do your research, but you trust that God has it all under control. When all you have is a horrible looking x-ray, all you can do is trust. Since he had his cast removed, he has not had another x-ray. Pictures help us understand, even if it’s an x-ray of your childs leg that looks like a snapped toothpick. I still find myself analyzing his leg as he walks or runs. Until he is an adult and is done growing, I will always worry about his leg.
Since becoming a parent, I have watched other parents lose a child to illness or tragedy. I thank God often for the healing my son has experienced knowing that none of us are promised a tomorrow.
It has been 2 years since my son broke his leg, so I thought this post would add some context to how I am currently feeling. Thanks for reading/understanding.
Parents, hug your kids. Tell them you love them. Don’t allow anything to take priority over your family.
This photo was taken the day we got home from the hospital with second child.