I’ve heard it said that life isn’t a race but a journey. However, sometimes I feel like I am running on a treadmill. Oddly enough, I actually like running on a treadmill.
Generally, I make progress, but not without getting stuck along the way—sometimes for a day, other times for months. As I’ve aged, I have either gotten smarter or figured out better ways to prevent getting stuck. I now realize that perfection is a silent killer. Progress is progress.
I’ve been thinking about how to maintain forward motion without getting caught up in a state of analysis or seeking the perfect moment.
If you drop a ball out of a moving car, the ball will bounce down the road for a while in the same direction as the car. But as the ball slows down, the car keeps moving. Eventually, the ball comes to a stop, but the car doesn’t stop until it reaches its destination.
I love metaphors.
It takes work to keep growing. At times, it feels like I am trying to compete with something. I guess I’m trying to beat yesterday’s version of myself.
If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. So, I’m focusing on taking steps forward each day in the key areas of my life that are most important to me.
Here are five areas that I am focusing on.
Spiritual Life:
I set aside time daily to read the Bible and journal what comes to mind while reading. This works best for me if I accomplish it first thing in the morning. It’s too easy to put it off in the evening when I am worn out from the day and my willpower is low. Some days it’s a profound experience. Other days I struggle to focus. The desire here is to seek consistency over perfection.
The first couple of weeks I felt like I was going through the motions, but after a while I started noticing patterns. I even took my entries and asked ChatGPT to analyze them for fun. It’s the insights that come over time that are helping me better understand myself and grow closer to the Lord.
Marriage:
If we’re not growing together, we’re growing apart. It’s easy to end up with what feels more like a roommate than a spouse. Everyday life doesn’t make it easier. With the demands of work, school, and volunteer schedules, it doesn’t leave much time for us.
Marriage is hard and you have to be intentional. I try to ask myself at the end of each week, how was I intentional this week? Sometimes, I realize that I haven’t. It’s humbling. It requires me to think about why I wasn’t. Connecting with her is a priority. Sometimes we get a date night, other times it’s a short chat before lights out. It can’t be perfect, because there are too many variables in play, but it can be intentional.
Family:
I have a freshman in high school. When I consider that I could have only four Christmases left with him in the house, I get freaked out. I want to create intentional moments with each of my kids. I want them to know that they are a priority in my life. It’s easier to put it off, but once something happens that forces it to become a priority, it’s too late.
I would make these proclamations to spend weekly individualized time with a kid. Sometimes, that is possible, but once we get into sports season, it becomes challenging. Perfection is not possible here, so I must replace it with intentionality in the moments I do have with each of them.
Often too much time passes. I apologize for that more than I’d like to admit. I want them to understand how much I want to be with them. I want them to feel prioritized.
Thankfully, there are many opportunities for short interactions, and those are very meaningful to me.
Business:
I’ve been self-employed as long as I’ve been an adult. During that time, I have experienced every ups and downs one can have. Growing in this area is about more than just getting new customers; sometimes, it’s about sustaining or pivoting when necessary.
I am always looking for new opportunities, not because I am greedy, but because I like adding value and love solving new problems.
Punching out the same widget each week sounds like a slow death to me. Even though that would be easier, I am constantly learning and trying to stay on the bleeding edge of my industry because that is how I feel fulfilled in my work.
It’s important for me to identify key performance indicators for my work so I can recognize achievement. Simply setting goals with work has always been hard for me and I have never been able to motivate myself by chasing financial goals.
Serving:
Though I have often had to seek it out, much has been given to me. I am predominately self-educated, but the information that led to knowledge didn’t come out of thin air. I also recognize that you can only help yourself if you know how to or are physically able to.
I enjoy serving whether that be creating information to giveaway online or serving at my church. I want to give away more, but it’s a balance. It also often requires me to work with other people, which is an opportunity for relationship building and personal growth as well. Serving others is almost never convenient, but it’s so rewarding.
Growth isn’t always linear or visible.
Sometimes I get stuck and that used to frustrate me. These days I am more aware of it and able to figure out why before days or weeks turn into months or years.
This is why I am trying to be mindful of my habits. Habits dictate our routines, and routines dictate the quality of our lives. I am not perfect, but I am trying to form better habits so I can maintain a healthy routine. That means turning pages of a book rather than doomscrolling social media. I am trying to be more conscious about what leads to a lack of willpower at the end of the day.
Your habits will dictate your routine, and your routine will dictate the quality of your life.
Every evening, I try to reflect on my day. I note what I accomplished or anything I want to remember from conversations I had throughout the day. If nothing sticks out, I try to identify what I could have done differently that day. I don’t do this to judge myself; I’m simply noting observations. As I mentioned before, it’s about understanding patterns and making sustainable change.
A year from now, I hope to be different, not because of some breakthrough moment or transformation, but because of these small consistent efforts added up over time.
I’m writing this both to hold myself accountable and to encourage you if, like me, you find yourself stuck because you often seek perfection, which isn’t sustainable.
I recommend you identify your priority areas and what you can do to be intentional in each of those areas. Don’t seek perfection; seek consistent effort, even if it’s minimal. The ball will keep rolling if you keep giving it a push.
What’s your next small step going to be?