I’m a husband and a father of four. I think, journal, and pray about the man I want to be for my family. Sometimes, I am able to carry out my desires. Other times, I don’t recognize myself. I want my wife and kids to get the best I have to offer, but at times, they get my most selfish side.
Sometimes, I have more patience for total strangers. I want my family to think of me as patient, but it’s hard to lead that way. I try to remove all distractions that would make me impatient, but those efforts fall short.
I have found that being a husband and a father is a lonely effort. Nobody wants to hear about your struggles or share their struggles. All we have is what we project, which is not an accurate depiction, intentionally or not. My most profound conversations are with men who recently experienced a tragedy like their spouse leaving them. It takes that amount of pain for a man to open up.
Dealing with everything within my own mind is a closed loop, making it more difficult for new information to enter. Sharing something out loud forces it to become real. You need someone staring back at you when words come out of your mouth, someone who cares. Feedback is everything.
I want to normalize talking about the difficulties of life. It should be normal. Doing life alone is not normal, especially when you have a choice. It’s easy to focus on the external and to point fingers. I point my fingers at myself. I am the leader. If those in my care are not thriving, it’s on me. I want to surround myself with others who take their job serious. They see it as a calling and desire new levels of greatness. I know there are people out there who want the same. Those who are willing to do the internal work and are not simply nodding their heads in agreement.
Who else is not always who they want to be?